I’m compelled to begin this post by reminiscing on October of 2018, when I began the arduous process of applying to study abroad. I feel it’s almost obligatory to describe how that time seems both very far away and also not too long ago (as most moments in life tend to feel, at least for me), and how the months in between then and now are chaptered by little noteworthy moments, like concerts or love interests or the current color of my hair. And now it’s nearly 9 months later; my departure date has crept up silently but quickly.

When people ask how I feel about leaving all of my friends and family and living in another country for five months, my immediate response is that “I’m excited!”, but truthfully, my emotions about studying abroad are a confusing mixture of uncertainty, nervousness, curiosity, and excitement. I don’t think any amount of research will make me feel prepared for what I’ll experience in Maastricht, which is why the hours I’ve spent reading articles and watching videos have only heightened my anticipation for leaving.

It’s currently August 6th, meaning I have five days (but more like four since I’m writing this at night) left in America. I’m trying to make plans with all of my friends to see them one last time before I leave, and it feels a lot like I’m booking dental appointments in designated time slots. Major Capricorn vibes.

Anyway, I wanted to make a post before I leave just to document how I’m feeling about everything and what my expectations are. I don’t think it really hit me that I was leaving until about a week ago. Before then, my study abroad was sort of just compartmentalized in my mind as an “Eventually Happening” thing that I didn’t need to think about yet, and upon being asked about it I would feel a tinge of nervousness and slight excitement. But as my departure date has crept closer and closer, my excitement has built and I’m realizing just how different my life will be for the next few months.

I’ve never been away from my home for longer than a few weeks, and being a local student at USC has kept me securely in my comfort zone, allowing me the luxury of coming home whenever I please and having everything familiar to me right at my fingertips. I think being away for five months will force me to mature and become more independent. I think I’ll come back a different person with a new outlook on everything.

I don’t expect this growth to be easy or comfortable; in fact, I expect I’ll learn a lot of things the hard way. But I’m excited for the moment I can look back and see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown. Here is where I should begin listing my goals for my time abroad, but I’m not really studying abroad to achieve any specific goals. I only know that I will probably accomplish some while I’m there. This post doesn’t have much purpose other than representing a beginning for my ~journey~, but hopefully it will be more meaningful once I read it upon returning from my trip.